Angel Dust

Angel Dust Backstory

remember waking to the sound of his screams of terror and war. No one spoke of post tramatic stress in 1944. He could not live with his memories....and between the memories and the malaria, he didn't live long. What I have left of Uncle Irvin is a folded flag. I got it out of the cedar chest and took it to the memorial service down town.

As I sat in the tub the music changed and I heard the sound track from Schindler's List, the powerful movie of the holocaust. It had been filmed in black and white and looked like the newsreels that brought us our visual news as I grew up. It struck me that the views of the streets of New York also looked like black and white newsreel footage. And just as senseless and unbelievable as what I had watched all day. The survivors of the holocaust must have had nightmares for a long time. The amazing part of their story for me, has always been that they did not let the horror destroy them. They mourned their dead, honored their heroes and lived life to the fullest.  Likewise, the Americans after World War II did not let the horror and their great losses stop them from building the strongest country in the world.

That was it.....that is what the seniors needed to be reminded of and honored for. That was what I, at 63, needed to be reminded of. We are survivors and we need to tell our children and our grandchildren what that means. Our children have not experienced a Pearl Harbor, or a Normandy Beach.....most of them do not remember Vietnam over the dinner table. There has never been a time when we needed our senior citizens more. Our senior citizens are the "wise elders" of our culture. They are the memory keepers, the story tellers, the preservers of our vision.

I encouraged them all to tell their families these important things:
I love you
My values include ......
This is not the end of the world
This is what I felt on Dec. 7, 1941 .......
This is how we lived through it .......
Our country is strong
Our family is strong
And, our God is amazingly strong
We take care of one another
We are together in the good days and the tough days
I love you

Young children especially need to hear these topics verbalized. My great friend, Phillipa, is my age and had lived in London as a child during the terrifying bombing raids of World War II. One day she emailed a message reminding me of something we had discussed some months before when I had asked her if it had been a frightening time and what helped her feel better. Here is what she wrote that day: "Memories are still there but though it was fearful, the strongest memory is the love and care of parents and their strong faith in God and the peace gained when they prayed with us. I couldn't have told you it was 'peace' but I knew when we prayed (often) my worries and fears were gone."  Phillipa and her husband have had a wonderful life, they have 3 successful sons and she is now enjoying grandchildren. She is a survivor!

Let me introduce you to another dear friend of mine, Rein, from Estonia.  His father was killed defending his homeland and Rein, along with his sister and mother, were put in a Displaced Person’s Camp in Europe.  They were kept there for 2 years, sharing one room with other families.  I met Rein a couple of years after his family arrived in the United States.  We met at McCarver Jr. High in the Hilltop neighborhood of Tacoma WA.  Hilltop was an old immigrant neighborhood where the color of your skin, the language you spoke a lot of the time and the wonderful smells that came from the windows were all part of the flavor and wonder of our neighborhood.  It was hard to find a nationality that wasn’t represented there.  I loved it!  It felt very much to me like living on Fort Lewis during and for a few years after the war ended.  Our neighborhood there was also a melting pot for society.  And everyone got along.  Rein had been in grade school for 2 years before he came to McCarver.  He was very bright and really knew his math and sciences.  We shared roll room and math.  We were 12 years old and a more innocent friendship would be hard to find.  He was my 7th grade boyfriend and that is special to me.  Such a sweet boy.  On a lot of Saturdays we would ride our bikes around the Hilltop area and laugh and talk.  As a child, I never thought to ask him about his life before he arrived in our neighborhood.  A few summers ago we were sitting together at a McCarver Jr. High reunion.  Haven’t heard of a Jr. High reunion?  We have one every summer near the Hilltop for all classes.  It has not been a Jr. High since the mid 1960’s and we still show up for the school and the Hilltop.  Anyway, we were sitting together and I think Juras was there too.  He was from Lithuania or Latvia.  I can’t remember which but those countries are all close together.  I sat with the guys and finally asked Rein what it was like to go through losing your dad, and your home, and your country to end up in a camp with no privacy or freedom to leave.  I apologized for not asking years ago. "Tell me now! Were you frightened? Was it awful," I asked.  He paused and then said, “You know, it wasn’t so bad because I was with my Mother and my sister. The women found out who could teach and a school was set up.  We went to school 5 days a week and we had very good teachers.  We were kids so we played anytime we could.”  He paused and then continued with, “The important thing was that I had my mother and my sister and that was what I needed to feel safe and know that everything was going to be OK.”  Yes, it came down to family.  I thought you might be interested in knowing that I went through high school with Rein and then he left for the University of Washington where he graduated and went on to have a wonderful career with The Boeing Company before retiring. He is a credit to America and I am so proud of him. His wife Judith writes romance novels and his family is always growing. This family did not let tough times take over their lives. They were survivors!

Our children need to come out of these dark days with strong memories of the love and care of parents, grandparents, and friends.  They also need to have a knowledge of what these people believe in.  On Pearl Harbor day, my family owned a small gas station/store with 12 tourist cabins in Lacey.  My grandparents lived behind the store.  My family lived in one of the cabins.  Soon the rest of the tiny cabins were mostly filled with young families trying to stay together until the father shipped out from Fort Lewis.  I went from playing cowboy to soldier.  My first night in a tent was in a pup tent with the young kids of a soldier.  At about 4, my favorite song was Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.  Soon both Daddy and Grandpa worked at Ft Lewis.  Before the war ended we had all moved on post.  I remember the black out shades, ration stamps for food, sitting on my grandfathers lap while listening to the evening news or fireside chats with the President or taking labels off of cans, stepping on them to flatten them for the war-effort box. Through all of this, because my family was around me and talked to me, I did not fear.

Our children need to be surrounded by our arms and their heritage. Here are some ways for seniors to go about it passing on their own stories:
Sit around a table and talk
Write letters or email
Tape record it
Best of all, video tape it

It seems to me that the greatest gift a senior can give their family is to sit down before a video camera and tell the family stories, values, and firm foundations that get people through the dark days. In fact, if someone would loan their video camera to the church or senior center, the seniors could bring in a tape and simply talk before the camera. If they weren't sure what to say, someone could ask them questions. Their families would treasure these tapes. And America would become stronger. This is valuable information that will pass on the values and also the strength.

Nothing would make me happier than to see this idea spread across the country with millions of people ending up with valuable family history as told by their very own wise elders. Be sure to tell all senior citizens that there has never been a time when we needed them more. Let's spread the wise elder idea, seniors.

UPDATE:  Fast forward to 2016.  To create videos as I mentioned in the article above, is quite easy today.  Nearly everyone has a smart phone, or an iPad and capturing video has never been easier.  Seniors can help each other to capture their memories and this would be a great gift to give to their families.  Proactive families could reach out to their elders and make it a point to capture the family stories as a treasure trove for future generations.  A simple Google search like this one: elder interview questions  will give you plenty of ideas on how to get started.  And, it's really that simple.  Just. Get. Started!

For more on this topic, see the related story at PHONE HOME

For a longer video on this topic:  See Barbara Jack discuss Angel Dust